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Aug. 25th, 2010

 Tired, fluey. So you can look forward to tons of pointless updates. This first one may actually have news since I haven't written in a week or so. 

I feel like I update too much - Twitter, Facebook, what have you. I even write tons in my diary, just for myself. Because I have to write. But what do I have to write about? Myself? I should write out some stories. if I have the energy. My mind seems to be constantly full of stuff, even if I do very little. It's like there's no room for.... something. I don't know. *brain goes mushy from flu* 

Had a health scare with Oscar the cat, which... actually all of you are either on my Twitter or Facebook, so I would have told you already. Long story short: I got panicky bc he had blood in his urine, took him to the vet after much struggle (he did NOT like the carrying box!), he was tested and he's got mild urinary stones. So special diet and antibiotics should do the trick. He's a bit sleepy from the meds and seems to be cuddling with me more, and that's a-ok with me. Poor baby. (L) I'm more and more attached to him, and he takes up more and more of my thoughts. He's under my care, I want him to be well and happy.  It's a top priority. It's a bit like falling in love really - you want to know him better, be good to him and understand his needs. Well, it's not so much like love bc you don't get the same back. But you do get sth to do and some cuddles. I feel proud of my cat-ownership this week for noticing the problem and acting on it quickly. My parents had to pay for the very costly visit, but whatever. What matters is that my baby is ok. (L) 

Lots of chats with my girlfriend lately. We watch Futurama together. I really think that show just gets better - SO glad we got a new season! We both love Dr Zoidberg, Zapp Brannigan, and Kif in particular. There's a lot of creativity and an endless array of new ideas they can use, so it's inspiring. Um, now I'm talking about TV and not us... It's hard for me to write about Mary here, because the way we talk is so our own. We have our own humor and language and it's quite personal. Which is probably true of every couple everywhere, but it makes it difficult for public diary entries. Maybe it's not necessary really. Just FYI: I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER!!!! 

James Callis: Obviously I'm stepping back a bit, because I can't and won't comment on every twitter post. So far it feels good and natural. He's talking on and off, I'm reading and trying not to respond to everything. He seems a lot like I had imagined, which is actually surprising. I had expected more of a difference. He's kind, cares about people and the world, seems laid back and somewhat private, has that sharp brain and silly sense of humor. His tweets are genuinely interesting, which can't be said for all celebrities. (But then I may be biased. ;)) He took his original tweets down and may do it again, so I'm not going to bank too much on the Twitter for now. He seems quite careful and self-critical of how he presents himself online. I also want to be careful and self-critical of how I present him, because he seems more real to me. Maybe it's knowing that my writing affects him, which I wasn't sure of earlier. 

I feel good watching him from a safe distance like this, knowing he knows about me and appreciates me. It's safe yet stressless, like I don't have to prove myself or seek his attention. Like I got my fan meeting with him and it was really good and once-in-a-lifetime. Maybe I'll message him sometimes - I sent a rather emotional and silly get well message, but I'm not ashamed. I feel a bit more OK with being an emotional fan, bc obviously he has compassion for me and my feelings. But I don't want to write to him too much; If he reads the blog, he knows how I feel and I don't have much to add. Which doesn't mean the fandom ends here, just that I can take it a bit... calmer. I'm not sure yet what that means.  

Obviously, since we're now BFFs and all, I will never fetishize him again. Yes. Forget all about his luscious mane, bushy wildman chest hair, juicy jellybelly (when applicable)... *drool* Well, I was only kidding, I will fetishize like whoa. Seriously, I may not write a lot in the near future, but I'm very happy. Yet calm now. It feels good. 

Reading:

Hocus Pocus by Kurt Vonnegut - a great book, but not an easy read. The book is the fictional autobiography of this guy who's in the Vietnam war, then ends up as a teacher, then a teacher in prison and then a prisoner. The writing is very fragmentary and goes back and forth in time, there are lots of characters, and it's overwhelming. But what rich description of people and ideas, how much you can put into one book! I'm fascinated. There's a lot of pretty gruesome stuff about war, death and, well, human nature. Luckily I like black humor. A lot. 

A bunch of Alice Munro stories - these are easy reads in a way, but they also contain a lot of human life and thought, and I really enjoy the way she describes people, with warmth and humor. A lot of compassion and understanding of human feelings, even those feelings that are difficult to describe in words. Love love love.

Eeva Tikka, a Finnish author who - really does the same as Alice Munro, but in a more sparse, Finnish style. A lot of nature description, but not in a romantic sense; the nature is sparse, ruthless, cold, warm, friendly, angry, all kinds of things. It reflects people's emotions and frames them. This is very Finnish. Finnish style is sparse and not as much dialogue. Done well, it's beautiful. Done poorly, as I've noticed with some authors, it's just dull to read. I wonder how Americans would feel about Finnish style? It might seem cold or emotionless to them. Or maybe it would feel honest and genuine? It's something I'd like to try, reading Finnish books with Americans sometime. 

 Watching:

S. Darko - wtf was that?! How is this a sequel to Donnie Darko? It's sad because if they'd had an original idea there, it might even have worked. I don't think the film adds anything to the - I refuse to say franchise because it isn't - classic. Donnie Darko is a unique film. It's like making a sequel to Being John Malkovich - what happened to little Emily when she grew up. Impossible. It's a shame because I like Daveigh Chase on Big Love. Well, I guess I'm disproving my own point that they could have made this work. They probably couldn't have, no matter what. 

Adaptation - this is so much in one movie, it's brilliant, it's overwhelming and exciting and inspiring. I love Charlie Kaufman and everything he's done. (Well, I don't love love Human Nature.) He's just... good. I sound like a gushing fangirl now, much like trying to analyze James Callis, but what I'm trying to say is... I think this movie is impossible to explain, analyze, or review. It's a world in itself, like Donnie Darko or Fight Club. Or Being John Malkovich or Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Also I love Meryl Streep. Her acting looks really natural, like she's relaxed in the character's skin. This is true of all of her stuff I've seen. 

 

Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
nicole_anell
Aug. 25th, 2010 08:32 pm (UTC)
Adaptation! Love Charlie Kaufman so much... Well, I'll be honest, his last movie (Synecdoche NY) was a little too bizarre for me, but I do love Adaptation and Eternal Sunshine.

Didn't realize James was still posting. :O I LOL'd at the "Jesus wept" joke. (feels immature)
deniselleb
Aug. 25th, 2010 08:37 pm (UTC)
I really liked Synechdoche myself. Well, maybe like is the wrong word - it fascinated me beyond words. But I haven't watched it again. So you know, it was also kind of shocking. But I loved it. I dunno! O.o

Love your icon!

(I LOL'ed at the Jesus wept joke too! I'm not sure if he made it up - probably not - but it was still funny. Also, I thoroughly enjoyed his hating on Conservapedia/peabrain.)
(Deleted comment)
deniselleb
Aug. 30th, 2010 11:11 am (UTC)
Aww, no love for Being John Malkovich? It was the first Kaufman film I saw and I was SO in love with it. I do think I like his later films better, but that doesn't mean I dislike BJM. Have you read the original BJM script? It featured Satan taking over all humanity and using them as string puppets. It was wild. And in some ways better than the final script version. I dunno.

What did you make of Synechdoche, New York? If you haven't seen it, please see it and let's discuss it! It was such a mess but in a good way. I think. Kinda like Inland Empire by Lynch but a little more approachable.

A dad joke? You mean a bad joke? Or a joke a dad would tell? I kinda agree on both counts. :D
(Deleted comment)
ginevra_alessa
Aug. 29th, 2010 09:40 pm (UTC)
daveigh chase was so beautiful, hot, amazing in that movie!! i don't care that it sucked! and i totally ship her and the best friend chick!!!
deniselleb
Aug. 30th, 2010 11:09 am (UTC)
Hee! Well, they were hot. But looking AND acting like a bratty teenager = huge turnoff for me. So no ship here!
ginevra_alessa
Aug. 30th, 2010 05:09 pm (UTC)

Yeah it's not really a turn-off for me. I have issues.
(note: I don't actually sleep with teenagers)
deniselleb
Aug. 30th, 2010 05:21 pm (UTC)
Well, I'm definitely not one to judge. I just like teenagers who are wise beyond their years.

(Mary was 15 when we fell in love. But we didn't have sex in the first couple of years. Ahem. :P)
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )